Stallings

I’ve had a particular idea for a long time. Part of it came to me in a dream, and part has been stewing for a while, popping up now and then – mostly in the middle of the night when I am least likely to actually get up and write it down.[1] But somehow, every time I try to work this onto paper I seem to freeze. I am not sure if it intimidation, laziness or if it is just that the idea hasn’t not become yet.
I often wonder if other writers have this problem. It really isn’t “writer’s block” per se, because I know the basics of what I want to write; it seems more like I am stalling, like a young driver in a standard car at a light that has just turned green. I jerk the gear shift around, trying to find first and then lose it when I try to pull my foot off the clutch. And just as the young driver gets frustrated and flustered by each time he or she fails to achieve motion, and gets even more distressed by the fact the drivers behind them are less than sympathetic, I am distressed by my lack of motion.
But as I was reading the blog of a gifted poet and fellow Word Guild member, Violet Nesdoly, the sub-line for her blog “Promptings” is a quote from Eliza Thomas. It struck me. It says “Write it down, whatever it is. It may surprise you.” This encouraged me to seek out Eliza Thomas, an author with whom I was not familiar. Which of course is completely fitting with Nesdoly’s title. Her blog has continued to “Prompt” me to think about things and discover new things, ideas and people. This was my way to stop stalling.

Maybe I don’t need to have all the details worked out, as I often do before I start. Maybe knowing whether this is a short story, a poem or something else isn’t important at this point. Maybe, just writing it down is what I need to do.

And maybe, just maybe, the results of "writing it down" will be my next post. I will try to make it a surprise.






[1] Taking a side path for a moment – why is it that some of my best ideas come to me in the wee hours? I have taken to keeping a notebook and pen beside the bed, but that doesn’t solve the issue of light. I don’t want to wake my husband up just because I have had an epiphany. I am considering buying a book light or a flashlight for the purpose. What I have been doing up until now is 1) trying desperately to remember what my idea was, 2) scribbling in the dark and hoping that it will be legible in the light of day, or 3) tromping off to the bathroom to quickly scratch down the thought. But none of these are good solutions as 1) usually doesn’t work as I have a horrid memory since having children, 2) doesn’t always work for the obvious reasons, and 3) wakes me up so much that I usually end up lying awake for hours afterwards or I just get up and go to the computer. So, I think I just convinced myself of what I need to do. Sad and strangely ironic, that I have to write it all down to come to this conclusion. Oh look, I am surprised.